continuing from where we left off...

8/17
I gotta say, love can be a [messed] up thing. At one moment in your life, it fuels you to drop everything and focus on this one creature of God's that you just think the world of. At another moment, it's the twisted knot in your stomach that no amount of Tums can take away no matter how badly you want it to.
Jen has led me on (at least that's how I feel), led me to think she liked me and wanted something to do with me. Then something went wrong somewhere and then nothing about her tasted good.
I've been praying about this, telling God that either something needs to happen or to take these feelings away. I don't know where I'm going with all this. This summer has just been a big disappointment. I just hope this school year has more promise.

Today, 9/6
Well school has finally started. I really like my classes. This semester I'm taking German (yeah it's almost favorite class, definitely in second place), Human Sexuality, Hebrew Roots of the Christian Faith, Pauline Epistles (letters he wrote from prison), Econ (boring), and Recreational Games. Monday, Wed, Fri are my long days, starting at 9 and ending at 4:15, except on Fri when I'm done at 2. Tues and Thurs are real nice. I wake up for chapel at 10 and I'm done with classes by 1.
I'm also living in a house with 6 other guys. And yes at times, it's a bit much but for the most part, I really like it here. My room's kinda small but I've got it working well. Plus it's only 3 blocks from campus, so I can walk every day. A nice change from having to drive every day like I did last year. The guys here are great too, real active and social which is a nice balance for me, cause at times I can be the un-social type and they can bring it out of me.
So far, things are going well for me. Little by little, I feel like my life is getting better.
Here's something interesting. This Saturday I'm driving up to Otsego to talk at this youth service. The subject: Pain. Yeah my summer was riddled with it. But hopefully, from this video I'm going to show and some of my own thoughts, I can show people that pain can actually be seen in a positive view, with the right mindset. Basically, human dislike pain. It's annoying and ruins our flow of our lives. But in times of pain, isn't that when God holds us closest? C.S. Lewis wrote a book entitled The Problem of Pain. In it, he talks about a lot of different types of pain, one chapter dedicated to Human Pain. Check this out: Suffering is God's will in preparing the believer for heaven and for the full weight of glory that awaits him there. Pain is not a present burden, but a preparation time and a time of closeness to God. I haven't sat down to write it all out yet but that's the gist of it.

Well, it's 2AM and I'm beat. Bis später!