sO I know I was supposed to write yesterday and didn't. Sorry. I'm sure you survived though. I bought some new bed sheets last night and watch Troy, which is a great movie and you'll need to watch it when it comes out.
Since I've been back in town, all I do is watch movies, sleep, or work. I work til close this whole weekend, so no plans for new year's or anything. But that's alright, cause really there is nothing to do! I've been gettin a lot of music off the internet though (legally of course) and Paul Oakenfold is pretty sweet soundin, so he's goin a lot. Anyways, I suppose it's time for my deep introspective writing time, so here it is...
This entry has been inspired by Abby who I talked with while I was thinking of a topic to write on:

Deep dreams and shallow water. I have dreams I chase after. Going to Germany is one of those and I'm making that happen. We all have some thing that we wish or want, or want to do with our lives or some hopeful circumstance for our lives. A lot of us are afraid, that's the problem. We have these dreams but we don't have what it takes to fulfill those dreams. Then they become this dusty artifact that we look back on in our mid-years, the grey sand-covered unopened gift that was in our lives, wishing we had opened it when we had the chance. But we didn't. All that's left is regrets and what if's. I say, stop. If you can, do it. There is risk, sure. The risk of failure. The risk of not having enough money. The risk of disappointment. The risk of downsizing. But it will still be worth it. Why? Because the gift was opened and experienced. The saddest words to hear someone say is, "I wish I had...". I have some dreams that I want to accomplish in my life. I want to write a book. I want to direct my own movie, maybe even my experience of going to Germany if I can come up with the money for a camera. Do this, get out a piece of paper and write out all the dreams you have, things you want to do, the way you want to live your life, and then start doing them. It seems too simple or too impossible. The biggest hindrance of fulfilling dreams is not circumstance but ourselves. We can do it. You can do it. So do it.

I'm gonna start writing in my journal again. That's where the real deep thought sometimes come out. So until next year...

Well my friends, it's been a while. This might be my most dangerous blog entry, because I don't even know what I'm going to write about. First the basics...
Christmas was great. I went home last Tuesday and came back Sunday night. I enjoyed seeing the family, Sunday night being the best because I got to see most of the family, even those I don't get to see often. A fantastic time. I spent most of the week with either family or friends.
Work has been goin good. I really like it there, which is good cause I need to work as much as I can, and it's nice that it is bearable. Co-workers are great so that's nice as well.
One last thing before I go to bed (I'll write more tomorrow), school's ended well. I had once of my best semesters, and did real well in my German class (which was a huge relief and a load off my back).
Well I really didn't write anything of consequence, but tomorrow I promise to write something meaningful. Later.

Time for a post. I'm done studyin for the night, and this was just kinda layin on my heart so I thought I'd write about it.

I hate being lonely, alone. I know that there is nothing wrong with being alone, chillin out, whatever. But I feel like so many times I am by myself...I find myself at home a lot, by myself; studying, by myself; doing things, by myself. It's depressing. Just for once, I'd like to have people interested in my life, in hanging out with me. I don't know if it's my personality, or the things I say sometimes or what. I just feel alone and it sucks. I feel ignored by most people and I just don't get it...

I don't know or think there is anything I can do to change what is. It sucks too when you're wanting to date, and it seems like there are no takers, or those you thought about are no longer possibilities...

You know I'm not even making any sense and the truth is, I don't know what is going to happen to change my situation, my loneliness. I mean I know we all want to be loved, I the most. It's been so long since I loved someone, I mean really loved someone. The last girl I dated was two years ago. As you might be able to tell, I'm not much for meaningless relationships. I don't date unless there is some purpose in it, some possible future. So needless to say, I haven't found many, or had the guts to ask any of them out. What is it I want right now...a friend. Even in this house of 7 people, I feel lost, like no one cares about my life, what's going on with me. Save for 2 or so people. I'm sure I'm guilty of the same sin with all my friends. Maybe that's the problem, I'm not investing enough into others. I don't know, this is just senseless rambling anyway. But it's kind of soothing, helps my mind unwind and express itself...

Well, I just put some music on and I need to finish some stuff for tomorrow's Econ final. Wish me luck, I have 2 tomorrow but I think they're going to go well. So until next time...

I felt it was time to write something meaningful since it's been so long since I wrote in here. Sorry about that folks. Christmas break is comin up so I'll be writing much more then.
I have one question: since when did we have almost only a week left of school, including finals?!? It's freakin crazy! I was so glad though once today was over. The past two days I've had so much stuff to do! I had a Human Sexuality presentation, a German presentation and skit, and a folder for Rec Games to do. Whew! I'm glad it's all over with. I'm definitely ready for a break.
Speaking of break, here's what it's looking like. I'll probably be home from the 22nd to 30th or something like that. I'm gonna be in Anderson most of the time, racking up some hours at my new sweet job at Blockbuster, and earn some serious money for Germany, credit card bills, etc. So if you happen to be around then, let's hang out, especially if I didn't get to see you over Thanksgiving break.
Speaking of Thanksgiving break, it was great to be home and see all the relatives. I spent a lot of time hanging out with them. I found out what my Christmas gift is going to be: luggage! Ha! It's funny but I'm going to need it for next year. I gotta say, it's so great how supportive my parents, especially my dad, is being of this whole going to Germany idea. I'm really glad to have that approval. It means a lot to me.
Last night was a lot of fun, for many reasons. First off, 2 hours of swing dancing, that was great. Honestly it was almost better than going to Fountain Square to dance, mostly because it was much less crowded last night than it usually is at FS. It was really warm in there, and I was nasty with sweat by the end, but it was well worth it and a lot of fun. Next week we're goin to FS so that will also rock! Then right after, we had club meeting with our sister club and did a white elephant gift exchange which took an hour but it was a lot of fun. I have to admit though I was so beat from the dancing I wanted to just take a nap. Then I came back here, and my IM was bein really gay last night so I signed on to my old name and talked to someone I met a long time ago, like back before I started college! It was cool. I was surprised she even remembered me! So all in all, it was a good night. And I got a ton of sleep too. :)
Well I think I've procrastinated long enough from finishing the rest of my homework to update this thing. Hope to see or hear from you soon! Yes, this means you. If you're reading this, then I'm talkin to you...pretty personal huh? Thought you'd like that. :) c ya