So lately I've had a lot of time (at least it feels like it) and I've been doing some extra reading, you know just for fun stuff and it's called Blue Like Jazz. It's a fantastic book which I've known about since this summer and have seen it or heard it mentioned more than once, and that convinced me one day to go out and buy it. I must say it's quite a read. I've never really felt "good" after reading many books, but after each chapter I honestly feel like I've sat through a jazz set in a smoky dark blue-lit coffee house and just been touched, not necessarily spiritually (although it has its moments) but just at the heart, giving you some peace and this internal warmth that can't really be described, just experienced. So I recommend reading it.

the candle's lit, the music is playing beside me, and it's almost one in the morning so I feel inspired to write something...

today i learned i have cancer and only a year left to live. when you're young, you think you're going to live forever. when you're old you think the same thing. it's only when you're really old and you feel the aches in your joints that you even begin to think about death. by then, life is almost over. most of your dreams are already gone, and nothing is left. but it's different when you're young.
when you're young, you think you're going to live forever. that's why most people procrastinate telling someone how they really feel, waiting for the "right moment", whatever that is. you delay doing things you've dreamed of because it wasn't time, convenient, financially possible. it's different when you know you're time is ticking. you do all those things. you don't wait, that luxury is gone. and suddenly in all the death, you experience a freedom and life that most people only dream of. oh it's something anyone could have if they just did it, went after those things dearest to them. but they don't. they are going to live forever. what an arrogant human lie.
just do it. nike was on to something when they came up with that. just do it, what's the wait? you're gonna die some day anyways. what is worse, dying old with regrets, wishes of things you never did but always wanted to or dying knowing you did everything you ever dreamed of, chased after all those things that make life worth living and that spark something in your heart? you decide, you still have time. dying isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. never really living is. you may be alive, but are you aLIVE? do something extraordinary today. you're time is ticking too. as for me, im going to learn to play the jazz piano, direct an indie film, and photograph the stars. what'll you do?

I hope you enjoyed that. by the way, i don't have cancer, but I wanted to write something from the perspective of someone in the situation, someone with different lenses to see life a little different than we do now. appreciate what you have now, the things you can do. do what you've always wanted to do. you can do it, really.